I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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