Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
