Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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