Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
