he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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