Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
