those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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