even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize