white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
