I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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