then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
