Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
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Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
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Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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