I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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