the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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