So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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