thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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