You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The air taste purple.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
