I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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