that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
