i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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