No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
