If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
