Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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