He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
