What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm always down for nudity.
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