I didn't shave. On purpose
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
