I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
