He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
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After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
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Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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