ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
