my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
