My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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