bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
