I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize