Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I would fuck him just for his dog
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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