I want to have your abortion
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
