I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
