did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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