i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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