the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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