I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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