I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
