Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
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