he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
