Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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