Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
