Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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