my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
