i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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