dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
