I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
porn star boner night. come get it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
