I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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