Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
