Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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