I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We're too hungover to prance.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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