apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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