call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
