if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize